My boyfriend tells a story about his father and how he was a tailor and would make these outfits that had so many pieces they’d boggle the mind. He says he’d sit there and watch his father sew these things together and just wonder how in the world the man kept it all straight. When he asked his father, the man responded, “All I have to think about is the part that’s under the needle.”
When I was talking to my son on the way back from LA, on Saturday, a similar conversation came up. I asked him what he’d like for dinner and you could just see his mind go blank. He said he’d always had problems about that question. Apparently, at one point when he was visiting his father, he’d been asked to write up a menu — and, he just flat out couldn’t do it.
I told him, “Well, kiddo, that’s because you are thinking of the entire meal at one go. Don’t worry about the whole meal. First things first…When you think of eating tonight, what makes your mouth water? If you think of chicken? Fish? Roast beef? Something else?” He responded with what sounded good.
I then came back and asked what kind of things he generally thinks of going with that particular item — and, the next thing you know, we had a full menu for dinner. I told him, “When you get the first step done, then you take the second step. But, if you look at it all at once and try to come up with the perfect meal in one go, it is this chaotic and overwhelming thing. Just one item at a time gets the job done.”
As I was saying this, I couldn’t help but laugh at how very similar the life lesson was between what my boyfriend’s father had imparted to him and the one I’d just given my son. I wonder if it will stick? Regardless, it hit me — particularly given some of the personal issues I’ve been having to face and overcome recently.
Needless to say, when my sister posted on her Facebook status, “Thinking….if you could give one piece of advice to this year’s graduating class….what would you say?” Well, I had to respond with this bit of wisdom that has been playing such a central theme in my life, right now.
My response was not like most others. Theirs have been mostly two veins. Vein one, “Get your secondary education.” Vein two, “Make Christ the center of your life.” Both very respectable answers.
But…
Here’s the thing — think back. When you stepped out into the world on your own for the first time…wasn’t it a bit overwhelming? Wondering how your parents ever managed to do it all? Peers pushing you to not be responsible; but, needing to make sure the bills get paid, the schoolwork gets done, the car gets filled, the cat gets fed, etc…All the things you were able to ignore as a kid is no longer someone else’s problem. It’s yours.
And, yes, having faith to hold on to is a great and wonderful thing…but, reality is that Christ isn’t going to sit down at your dinner table and make sure the bills get paid on time, that your homework gets done or that your laundry was sorted right so you don’t have grey-ish pink t-shirts to wear until you can afford to buy new ones.
It can be horribly overwhelming — even for those who have been on their own for decades. How much more so for someone just entering the real world? Especially a world in such fiscal, emotional and political upheaval?
The key to making it through times like that — times that it just seems like no matter what there is always so much more that needs to be done…times where it looks completely and totally insurmountable — the absolute key is to realize that the only part that matters is what is right here, right now. The one item right in front of you. The next one will be dealt with when you get to it. And, the next one and the next one…But, it all winds up being the one that is right in front of you.
This moment in time. This one moment. It’s all you can immediately influence. Handle it well. Influence it to the best of your ability. Let the next moment be what it is when it comes — and, let go of the previous moment when it’s done. This one moment deserves the very best you can give it.
If you do that, you find that the crazy quilt of your life comes together — one stitch at a time. One piece at a time. One block at a time.